Me Me Me Me is all I ever wanna talk about

Today I dropped off my brother at his first day at Linfield college. I hope he haves fun is all I want for him because he really needs it, and friends. I told my Dad finally that I hate him and he hates me. He said it was bologna, I said that I felt hated by him and he couldn't disprove my emotions with rational arguments. He said fine, but he still says he feels 'different' about me. He hasn't talked to me since, out of fear most likely. He doesn't want to feel guilty so he ignores me entirely. I'm glad I finally said it. God damn I feel old. I keep thinking too much. About making movies and such. I wish I could just record reality instead of having any filters such as memory fuck it all up. I wanted to record all these thoughts I had last night in a voiceover but it can't be done once I'm all self-conscious of it. I gotta get out of here.